Waaa! Waaa! Waaa! Recently, I have overheard gripe after gripe after gripe about the lack of manners out there.
The other day a male Facebook friend complained about women who don’t say “thank you” when a door is held open for them. Women counter-complained that chivalry is dead, and that most men don’t hold doors open anymore. Outside of The Battle of the Sexes, there seems to be one grievance that we can all agree on: rude drivers. Everyone loves to whine incessantly about rude drivers.
I witnessed one of the most appalling episodes of rude driver-ness last weekend when a Hummer driver nearly plowed down a group of Breast Cancer 3-Day Walkers. (More on “Hummer Drivers – What your vehicle choice says about you, your penis size, and your environmental IQ” in an upcoming post.)
In my past life, I was an early childhood educator of sixteen years. I actually preferred my warm and fuzzy classroom world to the grown-up world because of people like Mr. Hummer Driver. I am here to tell you that my former students (the majority of them between the ages of 3 - 8) displayed better manners than most grown-ups.
So how is it that my students behaved better than most adults? In my Montessori classroom world, there was a segment of the curriculum called Practical Life. In a Montessorian’s mind, Practical Life is valued just as much as reading and math. Practical Life teaches essential and useful life skills so children can achieve independence. Part of the Practical Life curriculum is Grace and Courtesy. Imagine thirty children between the ages of 3 – 5 holding doors open for one another, looking one another in the eye as they say “please” and “thank you”, and generally treating one another with kindness and respect. In their world, courtesy is practical. In our world, courtesy has become optional.
I rarely resorted to “time-outs” in my classroom, as redirecting my students and empowering them with better choices was a much more effective option. Yet I would place most adults in a time-out in a heartbeat. I would tell them to stay there for one minute for each year of their age. (This is considered a time-out “standard”.) I would then ask them to think about their choices, and how they might make a better choice next time. As for Mr. Hummer Driver, I would remind him that road rage is dangerous not only to others, but to himself. Freaking out in traffic raises one’s blood pressure and is a formula for heart disease, not to mention skyrocketing insurance premiums. A better choice might be to chill out, think a joyful thought, sing a happy tune, and move on with your day. Really, now. Was that so hard?
When I realized that I accidentally joined the gripe-fest, I decided on a self-imposed time-out where I ruminated on this discourtesy epidemic. I concluded that this is by no means rocket science. In Real Life (as well as Practical Life), an impractical problem often calls for a practical solution.
I am currently soliciting volunteers for Courtesy Patrol.
I wish that I could claim this as my own brilliant idea, but I shamelessly stole it from World’s Most Precious Nephew, or more specifically, World’s Most Precious Nephew’s public elementary school. Montessori kids are not the only ones receiving lessons in Grace and Courtesy.
As a 5th grader this year, World’s Most Precious Nephew was finally able to volunteer for this prestigious and much-coveted group. He had dreamed of this day since he was a wee 1st grader. Each morning, Courtesy Patrol opened his car door and greeted him with a cheery “Good morning!” and sent him off to his classroom with a cordial “Have a nice day!”
Apparently, he wasn’t the only ex-1st grader with a dream. So many of this year’s 5th graders are chomping at the bit to join Courtesy Patrol that the school rotates through volunteers every three weeks. Yes, there are that many children volunteering to be courteous.
I asked World’s Most Precious Nephew what sort of training is involved before Courtesy Patrol volunteers are unleashed into their new roles. “Oh, it’s a quick minute training,” was his reply.
Seriously? It only takes a minute to learn how to be courteous? Go figure!
I asked World’s Most Precious Nephew’s 2nd Grade Sister what she thinks about all of this morning friendliness. (She, like her aunt, is not exactly a morning person.) “It makes me feel good. It’s very nice that they do that.”
So grumpy morning rush hour commuters might actually feel “good” by driving friendly? Interesting.
Courtesy Patrol Volunteers, we need you! In the words of the great Mahatma Gandhi, be the change you want to see in the world! (And on the road.) Let’s start practicing Courtesy Karma. The world is our classroom, and we will diligently implement the Grace and Courtesy curriculum. We will greet one another with a smile and a warm “Hello”. We will look one another in the eye with a “Please” and a “Thank you” and a "Have a Nice Day". We will all just get along on the road.
Here’s a quick minute Courtesy Patrol Training for the road: Let’s build a Traffic Choices Toolbox! Next time Mr. Hummer Driver tailgates you, don't get angry or get even. Simply redirect your thoughts by rummaging through your toolbox and selecting one or more of the following:
• Chill out. Breathe deeply through your nose for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale through your mouth for a count of 8. Repeat as needed.
• Think a joyful thought. Sunsets, a walk on the beach, puppy breath, your kids, whatever makes you smile.
• Sing a happy tune. An appropriate theme song for our cause might be “Imagine”. (By the way, you know if John Lennon were tooling around town today, he would not be driving a Hummer, but a Prius.)
• Insert your own empowering choice here.
Here’s the cool Courtesy Karma part: When we bestow a little grace and courtesy on others, we will be amazed at how our grown-up world becomes a little warmer and fuzzier after all.
Thank you for reading my blog, and Have the Nicest of Days! :-)
